Interview
6 minute 42 second read
Ben and Brooke lead a team which is based in a North African capital city. They have three young children, all under the age of eight.
‘We love our TCKs – the three that the Lord has given us, as well as the dozens of others to whom we serve as surrogate aunt and uncle.’
This begs the question, what is a TCK?
‘A TCK is a Third Culture Kid, so named because essentially, they are in their own culture,’ Ben and Brooke replied. ‘Their parents come from one culture (in our case, the United States), they live in another culture (in their case, where we are in North Africa), and yet they are not fully part of either one. They are simultaneously a part of two cultures, which means that they live in their own unique, “third,” culture.
‘There is so much beauty in being a TCK. They enjoy barbecues and Fourth of July parties. They proudly puff out their chests as they wear their pressed jalabiyas1 and spray-on cologne (a cultural must at any age here!) for an Eid festival or a special visit. They feel at home drinking sweetened tea, the most popular drink here, and eating sesame paste with their fingers, while sitting on a plastic mat under a mango tree.
‘They also feel very at home at their grandparents’ house in the woods in America, and love recounting the multitude of memories that they have built up across countries and continents – even at their young ages.
‘They talk about aeroplane flights and hotels as commonly as they talk about riding in cars. And they can understand and even mimic a myriad of English accents!’
As our three TCKs get older, they are becoming increasingly aware of their ‘TCK-ness’ and some of the associated challenges!
So what are the challenges associated with being a TCK?
‘As our three TCKs get older, they are becoming increasingly aware of their “TCK-ness” and some of the associated challenges!
‘We recently had a conversation with Jack* after he mentioned that he wished God had made his skin brown so that he didn’t stand out so much. Ethan* and Jack have often wished that they could have a superpower of speaking any language perfectly – because the language here is so hard to learn, something that we can relate to!
‘Ethan actually dragged his feet about visiting Moussa* last week, complaining that the children who don’t know him, always stare at him and talk about his skin and hair, often picking at them or mocking him. We listened and told him that we understand that there are hard things about these visits as he gets older and becomes more independent and is out with the local children.
‘We also explained that, as we have been praying so long for Moussa, Jesus was using this scary experience to make him think more about what following him means.
Ethan immediately acknowledged that it was harder for Moussa because his family might never talk to him again if he decides to follow Jesus. After a few more thoughtful moments, he looked at us with a smile and said, “I want to visit Moussa now, because I want our family to be able to talk to his family more about following Jesus!” He ran off to hype up the visit to his younger brothers.
‘There is so much to say about TCK life – and SO much more that we have yet to learn! Loads of books have already been written on the subject.’
How can we pray for your sons – and indeed, other TCKs?
‘We know that we often ask for prayer over our boys. Here in North Africa, we are in a season of uncertainty, and we covet prayers for them. They are saddened by the loss of friends, and they ask us what the future holds. We have to tell them that we aren’t sure, but we trust that God has a good plan for our family. Even as we proclaim this truth over them, we know that if we had to leave our home here, even for an extended season, it would be so difficult for them. Where we are is, for all of the difficulties that they face, very much home to them.
‘Pray that the Lord would draw their hearts ever more to him – our children, as well as other TCKs. Pray for their salvation. Pray that the Lord would reveal himself to each of them in a way they can understand. Pray Psalm 46 over them – may they indeed find the Lord to be their refuge and strength, and not to fear. From 1 Samuel 12:24, pray that they would only fear the Lord and serve him faithfully throughout their lives, wherever the Lord takes them.
‘We are so thankful for so many faithful people who have been an example to us in parenting, who have loved our boys in person, and who have diligently prayed over them from afar since their births. Thank you so much.’
*Names have been changed and library images used.
1. Also known as a thawb or dishdasha, a loose-fitting lightweight piece of clothing, ideal for hot climates such as in North Africa.
